The Writing teacher told us to write a personal essay about ourselves. This is my story.
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“Fathiyah! Eh, no! I mean, Fatihah!”
This was what my eldest brother said to my mother when they were naming me almost 20 years ago. Just imagine a face like this with a sacred name as Fatihah.
To signify things up, my name is Siti Fathiyah, the daughter of Shuib Haji Ibrahim and the beautiful Daliawati Haji Ismail. I was born on the 12th of January, 1989. Oh, look! I will be 20 in less than a month! I sometimes wonder why we even age. I live in Wangsa Maju in Kuala Lumpur since I was four. I grow up and live my life, fight with my siblings and write my music here in this town.
My father is a business man who runs his own business of producing concrete posts. My mother used to work in a bank 19 years ago. But when she surreptitiously witnessed the maid was abusing me when I was a baby, she quitted her job and take care of us with her own bare hands and has become a very wonderful enduring housewife. My eldest brother just graduated his degree in Engineering here in IIUM. Meanwhile, my sister is still doing her degree in Economics here too. And there is me, a BEN student with an uncertain future yet. The baby of the house is a 13-year-old bright lethargic girl. Love life? I am involved.
I am a mixed of Afghan and Malay. I am well known of my friendliness, they say. I like to approach people and say ‘Hi’ at the very least. My first impressions might be tough on certain people, because my predictions are never wrong most of the time. I can be very understanding when the time comes and my perkiness makes me tend to shout every time I talk particularly when I am on the phone. I know I am better at writing because I like to converse craps especially in public. The tone of my voice always changes for God knows what reason. Maybe it follows my moods perhaps; and not to mention my penmanship too.
The major of my general interests is music. I started having the passion of singing when I was 2. I play the piano, guitar, harmonica and percussions but I stopped after level 1 on percussions because I can’t stand the excruciating pain I had on my biceps every time I hit the snare. No wonder most drummers are from the male species. I just started playing the piano in Grade 1 because previously I only played by ears and I learned to fool around with the guitar by myself through the internet when I was 17. I started to initiate my own lyrics when I was 5 or 6 years old. I got myself committed in creating melody bit by bit when I was 16 years old. Until now, I realised that my complete songs are just parallel to one another, and yet they are just abysmal. Next, my passion would be art. I am into designs for webs, I can sketch portraits at most times, and I paint. No matter on papers or faces. I like to read fiction story books only. I think that the authors ought to have really wild imaginations and fantasies. And they would probably just be great liars because they make up stories, and I think that is noble. Last but not least, I like to argue and win. It feels good when you know that you are right when nobody can prove you wrong, even though you know that your counter attacks are faulty. It makes me feel smart.
I have a few pet peeves too. I hate it when I listen to songs that are forced to be songs. It’s not like the composers are inspired, but they force themselves to start the tunes. Second, I hate it when people stare at me. It is disturbing because we all know that I am just human like others, with a nose, a mouth, and a pair of eyes, and I am just a common person just like them. So what's wrong? Or they can just smile if they are insisting to stare. Another is I am allergic to chocolates. Every time eat them, I could never stop myself. I hate that when it happens. People say that curiosity can kill. I hold on to that because I think that people, who have so much curiosity, are just ‘busy bodies’. Get a feeling, get a life. I would never take back what I have just said.
I am fighting a so called fatal disease. The doctor told us that my right lung is too dry and my left one is too wet. I had this kind of asthma since I was ten. I just have to follow the rules of getting healthy. Sinusitis is one of my problems too. I could never go a day without blowing very thick mucus out of my nose even for once. When I stand under the direct sunlight, or the weather is just extremely hot, I will get nose bleed. See my boring life? Medications by medications even I am allergic to certain. I guess I am unfortunate because I am not healthy, but then again, I am fortunate because I got to go early.
Like I have stated earlier, I have an uncertain future yet. When I was little, I wanted to be a doctor. It is just because I like to see when patients are getting shots of injections. It is like a revenge for being a pain for the hospital. Come to think, my patients would just die on the spot for having me as their doctor. I had a strong liking for Mathematics when I was in school. My father encouraged me in becoming an accountant like he was. But, he never sticks to one decision. As I was reaching a stage of my youthful age, he noticed that I like to pick a fight or just argue. Take note that I would never start anything if I know I am wrong. Hence, he encouraged me to be a lawyer. But then, I was terrible in my History subjects because it has tones of reading and memorising to do. Still, I told myself to shoot for the moon and be a lawyer because that was what my father wanted me to become, until my mother told me, “It is hard for lawyers to find jobs; even they cannot guarantee their future. And they are just blood sucking parasites.”
“Stick with what you want to do. More or less, stick to what you know that you are good at.”
English popped in my mind the first thing after she did her part. I know it can take me to places. I just need to communicate. I would just say that I want to be a lecturer or a journalist for the very least. But I am being a big hypocrite. Besides English, music is my passion. A deadly extremely boring melody or tunes inspired girl now, a very successful executive music producer then. Who knows? But a lecturer will not hurt.
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Melbourne Trip with the Colleagues 2018.
6 years ago
