Things to do Today :

1. Get up.

2. Survive.

3. Go back to bed.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"Sisters Talk"

I'm still thinking of how sinful it would be if I have said more. About the man of the house, mainly. Luckily it was 8:15 pm and I had to do my Maghrib prayer, so I went away. Some were very argumentative, and some were, well, optimized? There were tears but weren't from me. I'm pretty much optimistic I should say, and I don't think that what had and will happen worth mine. It's life. There's no use of complaining and crying, for those things will happen again. Ergo, the least I could do is, be quiet and listen.

Call me The Girl on the Fence, you have my service.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Sick

Too short, I repeat ; Too short! Maybe it's my fault things turned out this way. I should have listened from the start. No means, no. And now I keep blaming God, "Tak mintak pon bende ni jadi.". I had a choice, and my job was so simple. Choose! But I screwed it up. I chose for something that only benefits me, but I didn't think about what the people who love me truly, people who accept me the way I am, would feel about it.
"I can't let myself regret, this selfishness.". I am. Just look at me, what do you see? Underweight, skins and bones, lebam! I may haven't the opportunity to live as long as you would.
"They don't look like Lungs anymore." But frankly, I'm surprised that I can still walk and talk and breathe(?).
"Fathiyah, please. This is how Pak Teh looked like before he.." He had lung cancer and he couldn't make it. I might be joining him though. At least, I've already got someone waiting for me.

"I miss you so much."

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Phone Bill

Dear Dad, got a confession to make! Yes, it was me. And it was my friend - a pet sister to be exact. I made the calls, it's not like I talked to her for so long on purpose, I was just trying to help with her love life, and her family problems. I was stunned when you woke me up and asked (or is it 'yelled at'?) me about the number the last couple of days. I had to lie, Dad. I ought to right? A little white one. Tipu sunat, tak nak kene bantai. Hikhik. I love you!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Life Isn't Just Death

"Songs of joy, songs of happiness, wait and see." Sir McCartney, you're speaking my language. Some say, deal with it. Define that you can't, whereas you actually don't want. Excuses, excuses and more excuses. What? Do I have to be plain weird to get people's attention? Hey! I'm not weird, I'm just crazy. Ya digg that, dogg? *sigh* You know, sometimes I think I should be irrelevant. For sometimes too that is. Come on, what's life but joy. It's short. Too short! "Find someone who only will add your happiness." Miss Che'nelle, thanks! I can't say that I'm currently happy, because I really don't know. But I have joy. Yes, can't have any 'counter attack' for that one. Haha! Look around, which one of you're looking at will stay there with you until the end of time? None! Aaaah don't take that seriously, fool. Because I do. *wink* Care about what you have, appreciate everything! Okay, it's lame, it's vague. But it's true! You don't have to be a stone cold genius to figure out what's right and what's not. Dance if you have to, kill for the ones you love! Just remember, God will not give us anything that we can't handle. Don't do sins! It is not that hard, is it? Well just look at that! I've said what i wanted to say, irrelevant stuff! WOW! I should say, this is the best blog alive!! =DDDDDDD Fun fun fun, I make fun. I want fun.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Gladness

Again, credits to Dad, for making me a Fighter. Some people go out, have fun, travel and do normal stuff every single day. Me? Myself? And I? I just think. I like to think. I always think about what I had done. Who I dated. The ones I should have, and the ones I shouldn't have. For some reasons, I'll know my mistakes when I think. Some people wouldn't be please about what I think, what I do, or what I write in my blogs. Yea, got some feedbacks. Suppossedly anonymous. But hey, I know who's reading. Sometimes I think, why did I do it? Got a feeling of regret in addition. Some would think it is a very good thing to do when they pushed me away. But hey again, I couldn't agree with you more. I don't hate. I don't have any grudge against anyone. My life is too short to do so. I write, I compose, about what I think. If you think I'm a mistake, you have my support. If you want to hate me, go ahead. Not in the meaning of being rude or anything, just that I couldn't even care anymore. Like I said, my life is too short to do so. You want to end this bond? I'm cool with that. I'm just glad that it's over. It's all over for good. I'm normal again and there's nothing in this world that I would love to trade this with. I know you're mad. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way at all. I'm saying this professionally, because we are not in high school anymore, we are not kids. I loved you, so much. You know what I would do, what would I give, to make you feel that someone is devotedly in love with you. The one who would do anything, "Die in your arms.", would give up anything, and the person is me. Was me. I don't feel sorry when you went away. Not anymore. But I'm sticking to what I've said, I'll be here if you're in need. Not a problem with that. I never wish and I never hope that the history will repeat itself.


Just stop. Stop torturing me.


God, I'm saying this to you.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Scariest Nightmare

First off, "Hana sorry, xde niat mahu meniru ;p" Okay. That was just it. A friend of mine just took away my Quran and put it under her thighs. And she was laughing like hell. She was like nuts you know. Well I think she is my friend because it was like I've already known her. But I couldn't identify who. She was fair, with long black hair, with fringe as well, sepet, and rebonding! Haha. You know how I despise people who don't stick with the originality. Pfft~! Well I can say it was my Quran because it looked like mine. Black. You know. Slightly like this la.



I still think it is scary because it was like trying to take my Religion away from me. HUH? She was going crazy you know. Thus, I managed to take it back and ran and Poof! My mom knocked on the door and said "Please padam kan engin Audi. Cepat cepat. Nanti ayah marah."

Erk~?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

"Night-ly" Basis

Every time I got online, this is what I get, aaaaaaaaaaaaall the time, "Fathy buat ape tu?" Perkh! Can't blame it on them though. They don't even know! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I crack myself.




So this is what I do. Not literally every night. Hihi. Get online, just online. And get online! Could you possibly answer someone who asked you "What are you doing?" when you know that they know that you are online, with no nerve at all. Please people, please! Not to be rude or anything, but just trying to be realistic. Even though this is quite exaggerating. Gaga.





Dear Friends, do you guys want to know how do I do right now?



This is what I'm DOING!
This is what I'm eating.This is what I'm watching.
This is what I've achieved so far. Haha.



And now you know, the What-Is-Fathy-Doing every time you ask me what am I doing. Alright? Eeeeh!







I told you he sleeps like us =)))))

She was the Man

I used to be a "minority". Yea, it's true. From the very beginning, all along. I did things that I shouldn't have done. I lied.

Things went just fine. Everything was okay. *sigh* Why does she have to? Can't she just leave us alone? I did what I had to do. But then everything was turning against me. I was doing a wrong thing. I know. Maybe it's an early sign from Him to me. "There will be no space for you here if you keep doing this." I realised that from the very beginning. It's just, what happened, was something that I've always dreamed of. No burden, no lies, no tears. So I was wrong.

Nobody can help me, but myself. It is all over for good. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even breathe at times. Things went rocky though after a while. No, not a while. Just a day after the closure. Wow, it was a BIG Bang Boom. It's ending.


Ended, yea. We apologised. Enough is enough. I just hope things will be just fine. Gosh I'm hungry.






Well hey, just look at the price.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Hasta La Vista, Baby

This time, Align Left. "Ey sukati la!"



If you do your job, you'll get whatever boost that you have always wanted. That JOB, is not a waste. Do it whenever you got the chance. I am determined to enjoy every single moment of my Life from this day on. I'm not going to meet my 21 even. What more could I possibly ask for? Some of us tend to change our future when we know that Fate is there. "Taqdir..Taqdir..it's a beautiful word. But it means nothing." This is an answer from a person, who has a classic criminal behaviour. I heard him for the first time when he said it, "If you want to deal with a criminal, you be a criminal." I keep it, and I keep it hard. But hey, everything is about to change some day. We make changes. We change every second. All the way. *sigh* Lithium, Red Clover, Steroid. I live with these things in me. You're lucky. You know that?

I make fun. I want fun.



video And yea, for a start. Haha. ;p

I can do Things, ya know?

"The Ex Strikes Back"



Haha. I love that one. For one thing, it's ridiculous. The Dad, The Aunt, The Sister, The Cousins. That's a lot. When you are out of points, this is what I get from you. "Da la." I dont have to tell. Even the walls are talking. Allah Maha Esa. I am not afraid. Things happen for a reason. Bye bye now. I don't need you to make my life complete. In case you didn't notice, you're making it worse.


**********************************************************************************


I have a cat who sleeps like us.This is Handsome.




Awww~

Monday, May 12, 2008

How many Times,how many Lies

This is how it goes,every time. "Jap mak,nak padam computer." And then she'll wait until she falls asleep. This is what you get, when you are stuck in the CyberWorld. This is what you'll be,a Liar. This is what you'll make people feel. There will be much more consequences involve from the tinnie winnie causes that came from you. Who are you to do that? Who are you to think that you can handle that? Who are you to think that you ARE? Huh? You're not the Boss of you but only God. God is watching us. Forgive me for living. Forgive me for breathing. It's my job to take that responsibility and I know I can.



And dad, big thanks for making me a Fighter. I miss you. And I only have the picture of your Butt in my phone right now ='(