Things to do Today :

1. Get up.

2. Survive.

3. Go back to bed.

Monday, November 30, 2009

One Breath

So people like to talk crap. I bet that wasn’t just a saying. It is definitely true. How would people expect me to react when I said something defensive and IF they are doing the same thing too? Stupid keyboard. Somehow it IS a fresh new start so they do not have to drag it all in from then to now. What is their problem? You tell me. No, let me tell you. Maybe they know that they are the IN thing, but they just got no brains! I really do not think any truce will be in existence for a very long time. Let’s say in another 50? I’ll be long gone by then. So let’s make it this way, DROP DEAD!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

All I Want is You

Plucking the chords C and Am in repetition gave me an idea for a new song. Somehow it sounded more like White Horse, the lyrics I mean. The melody was so sad somehow, I felt I was singing because of the betrayal that that someone did but I was in the mood of “I am a stupid girl, it’s ok.” I was shocked to be honest. I put the guitar away and I thought of Comot really hard, thinking how much I have been missing him. Craving for a hug, a kiss on the forehead. Oh, no one knows how I safe I felt when he was around me.

“Say you’re sorry
Kneel before me..”


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Ya'll Ain't Divas

eeOh wow boo hoo, now let us all post it all in our blogs and let the world know your pathetic side of story. Pretty dumb questions you asked me those days. I thought, if I ever give you answers, it would make me a dumb ass too but noooooooo, I didn’t, did I? Hah! Sensitive, huh? Where are your balls at?

Now you lady, well you look one. What was your orientation again? I really hope you won’t get your big mouth in trouble with other people or they’ll kick your bony ass! You reeeeallly know how to paraphrase now, don’t you? Sorry babe, I am not complementing. I really don’t have to say anything seriously because, hey, like I said, I have a lot of friends with a lot of information. They do the talking for me. =)

And hey, you there! Did you really think that I would let you out of the list? No! In case you didn’t know, I know what you have said about me, you sissy! And now you took your hands on my property just like that? Haven’t your mama taught you anything, biatch? Just so you know, I think your nostrils are humungous.

Oh yea, and you, sour grape! I am so glad my man’s related to you, and I don’t have to back fire all your lame words you bushed out to your peeps about me. Your peeps hate you.

Sorry, Mom. I tried to be patient just like you taught me to be. But I will never be as positive. Love you!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Maybe I’ve done something really bad, that’s why my heart beats wild. Something that I might want to commit a suicide before I got somebody else says “It’s a homicide, Grissom”. Today was a No Luck. The morning’s exodus, the afternoon’s crash, oh yea, before that, after ‘brunch’s’ education. I should say, “Oooh, maaaan!” Lastly, the evening’s arrival. Once I really thought that I could be killed, because of today. Worse, humiliation.

Ditched again. That’s ok. He had to go, and how on earth could I stop him? Go give it a try and you’ll get a trace of a footprint on your forehead. I know I really like to get in trouble, but that is not the trouble that I could risk my life for.

An hour more to go. I have a small zit on my left cheek beside my nose. It is obviously annoying. Sometimes I just hope I am 100% plastic.

Oh tummy, would you stop? The heart is more painful. And the cause is you. I am sorry the throat wouldn’t accept anything just now, because it couldn’t! It’s not her fault. Blame it on the situation. I didn’t make any decision, it’s all his.

I smell something really nasty on my left hand. I thought it would be shyt in case if you peeps think that I don’t know what you’re thinking. But frankly, I smell saliva. Ok well, zero weirdness!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Like I Effing Care

I always speak up but then regret it because I thought he wouldn’t like to have a person who he wants to make as a wife to have such conduct. I regret. I regretted. But not anymore when I know that I have had enough. When it was the last straw, I just shut up and I think I left him hanging. Or maybe he just doesn’t get it. I really meant what I said, “we are done”. Even my mom understands my displeasing moment of breaking up, but suddenly all I hear, “kesian dia”. What about him? I have the guts to say that I have moved on, because that is how I ended up with my current boyfriend. Maybe most will think that I am the bad person here. Well you know what? I just don’t give a damn what you damn suckers think. In addition to that, whoever knows from scratch, they know that I did the right thing. He changed his status but what’s up with “I love you till d end”?

He’s not a boyfriend material la, Fathy. Once he had a super hot gf pun dia boleh flirt dengan orang lain. If he breaks up with someone today, the next thing you know he is with someone else dah tomorrow. Jaga jaga je la. It’s up to you. But if anything happens to you, then I’ll puke on him.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

So It's Him

I have been longing to see his face since mid April and I finally did just now. It was extremely awkward though but it wasn’t really bad at all. And I met Alia’s roommate. Hee. But I was about to throw up when all of his tracks were playing RnB genres. I need the BOOM BOOM POW! =P

Sunday, June 14, 2009


In less than two weeks I have to squeeze everything out for finals. The worst part is, Macbeth is included. The original text is too heavy for me. Of course it is written in Old English since Shakespeare wrote it, I really can’t understand what the characters are saying! “Anon!” Like th? So I read the synopsis, it was fine but the characters are too many so, I even told Syai that I got lost in the middle of the third paragraph. So, yea, just wanted to share something.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


The people or person that came from Plano, Texas and visited my blog, I am proudly to say now,

"Howdy! How ya'll doin'?"



I personally think that I can write more private, secret and repulsive stuff in my Diary. Agree?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Back Pain

Ladies and gentlemen, now I have come to realize that I will be having the excruciating pain on my lower back every time after I have used the laptop. No wonder I was having a blast when this laptop was on its vacation at my dad’s shop. My my. Who would have thought I’d be so slow, I know I am sluggish but when I gave another thought about it, nope! Not acceptable. Sorry for the lame English. I am still trying.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Squeeeeezing It Aaaaall Outttah !


I bathed, I performed Zohor, and I swept my room. You know how cats are with brooms I presume? I was kind of weird when Tarzan acted like he wants to attack the sweeping broom but when it got nearer to him, he ran away! (?) Now my I have watery eyes and nose because of the dust Tarzan was playing. Okay, I have soooo much to tell. But I am not sure whether I could express it all in one post.

I started my short semester, and I am taking 2 subjects which are Political Science and Drama. Make it 3 if you think the night classes of French is considered as a subject ey?
My Political Science teacher is Mr. Ishtiaq Hossain. His origin was from Pakistan but he grew up as a Bangladeshi. He is short and chubby, yet has a big brain of intelligence. My girlfriend Shaba said he is so cute, but from my point of view, the way I see his physical characteristics, I think he looks like a teddy bear, which I think he is extremely cute! Kak Mei one the other hand teaches Drama. A very skinny Chinese local Muslim, and like Madam Sheena, she rocks, but she forbids us to call her madam because she will feel old. I explicitly understand when she said that. Yes, I am old. Ngeh. I have not met my French teacher for the class have not started yet, but I will tomorrow night. I will be attending the class with Sabrina. Scoosh uley blagh blagh we will be at the latter. Hee.

I have spent my 2 week holidays by reading my story books. So far I have done reading 2 and I am going through 1. It is Cecelia Ahern’s ‘A Place Called Here’. I have had the book since last year but I just started to ‘scrutinize’ it. Luckily I have no homework yet so far, but I have a lot of studying to do. Like yesterday, is studied a bit, 2 pages would be a bit, then Zikri asked, “Exam bila?” Ngeh. My mom and I bought plenty of books from the MPH fair which I doubt I could finish reading them soon. Oh well, books make me happy. Just story books, thank you very much yea. I just hope text books will not be my least favourite books anymore, have you seen my pointer and grades for last semester? How do say if I was shocked yet I was not? Hmm.

Aha! I have to wear concealers most of the time, I have been bitten twice by the blood sucking parasites on my neck, and they look like love bites. Soooo tiring. My mom knows what had happen so she understands; she knows how unfortunate my life is. We spent the days together. Just the two of us, since Jai is at school, my dad is ‘working’, my sister is doing her practical and my brother sleeps all day. When you get to know my mom, you will realise, as I just did this week, she blows a lot of money, man.

Sabrina came over my house last Sunday. She told me this, “Babe, I lost my phone.” For the 5th time perhaps? She couldn’t go home because her mom and aunt would flip if they knew she has lost it. So she came because she got no where to go. So yea, we just hung in the house, played guitar, sang and composed a verse together, and did some ‘communication skills’ as a part of the meeting routine. The compulsory one. We took pictures too.
In Drama class on Tuesday, Alia saw them and said, “Macam kembar dowh. Scary gila.” Hahaha.

Richie, my mom and I went to Ikea on Thursday, and my mom seemed to like him. Hee. How I miss that fatty bum bum. We date very seldom, I suppose you know how my heart should be falling apart for now. It does not make any difference when he moved to Setapak early this year. So it is sad, I am sad. I know I have to stop to think about I want and instead think about the future. I should be studying right now, I am in the short semester, and I do not have much time. But the mood does not seem to get me there. Sorry for the lame English. But I am trying you see. I think I should read my story book to get me calmed. My feelings oppose everything I do lately.

Oh yea! I want to get my nails done with black henna. Well people would be calling me Goth for a few weeks but what the hell. Just an addition, I do not know why I like to say ‘what the hell’ lately because I seem to say it everyday. To be frank, I really hate it when anybody says it in front my face. It is annoying but I am doing it. Gosh, I am craving for Yeo’s Lychee drink.

Chopp !

Give me time to mandi 1st then I will come back to tell you my story ok?

A ah anak dara mandi tengahari. I am not being myself right now. :p

Saturday, May 2, 2009


I think it is best if I do not dribble anything for the time being. Just know that I am sick. Mentally and emotionally. Thank you parents for making my life so fragile.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Relief !!

Assignments are officially done and I'm ready to get the text books rumbled!! Wish me luck!!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Pissing Machine

Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m not the one who’s born lonely. It's you. :) It’s not your concern. So stop pissing me off.


biar lah aku ingin berbahasa.

biar la aku ingin meluahkan segalanya.
tak boleh?

hujung minggu lepas, sangat tidak baik.
setiap detik aku berasa sedih.
air mata melimpah limpah.
sakit nya kepala bila dah kering.
masa depan.

lihat sekarang.
mungkin detik2 lepas tidak akan berulang lagi.
mungkin aku kata.

apa la hidup ini tanpa kebahagiaan?
celaka itu.
siapa kata hidup ini wajib dengan kebahagiaan?
syaitan sana sini.
akhirat tak ingat?

kenapa nak bersedih sekarang? esok ada lagi.
minggu depan ada lagi.
bulan depan ada lagi.
tahun depan.

di depan Maha Berkuasa?

tanggungjawab kita sana sini.
contoh yang baik, aku.
yang paling tak endah kan apa2.
yang paling tak kisah masa depan.
baik, aku.
contoh paling baik, aku,
yang paling buruk.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's Just Not What It Seems

The moon can not take our attention. It is ugly.

My nose can smell you. I can smell you alive.

If the chest is not meant to be for breathing, what is the point of having you?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

There There

I am in the state of not having any content in my head to express anything that I should or what I really should not. But yet, let me speak. Let me let you hear what I have to say sometimes. First, trashing out my friends is a big N double O. NOO! She is quite popular for the post she had made. Stating a review or an opinion is not faulty at all but the way she did it, the way she said it, some people might get hurt by that. No need for me to say more, just look at her post. Try to think what others might feel. She may do it, but the least that could do is have a heart. Respect.
Second, my kitten is looking at me with her most innocent eyes sparkling. Sometimes I only care about what is she thinking about when she looks at me? What is she thinking about when she tucks in herself under my armpit? Was she comfortable? Did she get the heat she wanted? But then, she calls when she really needs something. But yet, she’s not ‘saying’ anything now. :')
Third, just look what Hana Baby posted about me. :') Aww. You know, you don’t get this kind of lovely pet sis everyday in your life. Just think how lucky am I when she feels lucky to have me. Just as lucky to have her in my life. I love you so much, Hana. Honestly, I feel twice as happier than before you existed in my life. You know, hal Afiq suma kan. Hahaha. You may call me anything you want, but still, I know you love me. ;p

I’m looking at the mirror and I see me. Like duhh, obviously.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I’ve noticed for quite some times, I never actually asked for anything about my health.

Please sempat siap kerja.
Please sempat habis baca.
Please habis hafal surah tonight jugak.
Please let Richie makin sayang.
Please stop them.
Please stop the problem.
Please tengok kan Mak and Ayah.
Please Abang balik cepat.
Please Jainibah dapat banyak A.
Please Akak jangan bebel lagi.
Please score for tonight’s paper.
Please let him know how much I need him in my life.
Please stop all this crap.
Please biar kitorang kawan balik.
Please let my friends know how important they are in my life.
Please help me to improve myself.
Please control my lust, even if it helps, demolish it away.
Please Nenek tengah ok sorang sorang kat rumah.
Please boleh tahan kawan sampai bila bila.
Please no more trouble.

Apa lagi yang kau nak, Fathiyah?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Stupid Throat

I reached class early today. Or maybe the others reached late. Haha. (Aaaaas usual) As Alia quoted, “Oh my God, Fathy, you’re such a nerd.” Thank you very much because I take that as a compliment. For self improvement much? I was right, I was starting in getting a fever. The head, the nose, the throat (AGAIN), back, chest and waist, phuahh! Macam nak mati pagi tadi. Even my mom asked me to skip class. Oh, such an angel (dramatically with stupidity). But I held on because missing just one class is such a waste. So I went yada yada yada. I couldn’t bare the air conditioning so I felt sicker then I called my mom to pick me up and she did so I skipped ‘RASOK’ class. The throat was extremely red as the doctor said lah kan. Entah dia tipu ke tak tau la. Doctors are like lawyers, they are all blood sucking parasites. All they need is just a briefcase.

Who would have thought that I would be facing demons from the past? I ‘deal’ with them everyday. If not physically, all that is left is my mind. Now I am having a headache for just thinking about that. Baby, I need you. =’(

Crackity Crack Crack

Swing it to the right. And swing it to the left. BOOM!

Sakit tengkuk.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tagged by Nurin Najib

Herh, baru perasan. Dah tag orang tapi tak bagi tau. Bongok Si Nurin tu ye?

Tagged by Nurin Najib.


1) Do you think you're hot?
~under the sun, yea la. berpeluh peluh! ;p

2)Upload your favorite picture of you!

3) Why do you like that picture?
~ it isnt actually a favourite, i just laugh everytime i see it.
4) When was the last time you ate pizza?
~ long long long time ago. (hyperbole)
5) The last song you listened to?
~ Diva by Beyonce
6) What are you doing right now besides this?
~ texting with Richie baby
7) What name would you prefer besides yours?
~ Aisyah.

People To Tag :
1. Hana Baby
2. Ieeko
3. Farah Rosni
4. Osya!
5. Baby Girl

.8) Who is number one?
~ little pet sis, sian dia banyak masalah dalam hidup =(
9) Number three is having a relationship with?
~ dunno la i.

10) Say something about number five?
~ burntttah toasttah

.11) How about number four?
~ mana u ni osya? tak jumpa2 lagi ni
12) Who is number two?
~ kawan saya. kenapa? ada masalah?

Craving for It

Maaaaakk. Lapaaaaaaaa. ='(

Scratch here, Scratch there..

Online. Why? Oh yea, Revelation as a Source of Knowledge term paper that has to be submitted by next 2 weeks perhaps? And why did I just know that the lecturer is going to make a second midterm? Shyt. 'Equality between man and woman', oh I have a lot to say about that. Just make sure that Mira and I will nail this one yea, after that loathsome Poetry term paper. And speaking about that, Mirs and Ills laughed at my review this morning! Come on, it is Poetry, why can not I be dramatic for some reasons? How lazy do I feel right now? The windows and tabs are ready to be copied and pasted, but I am still here typing craps. Stupid much? Oh and just Madam Husna articulated the word ‘crap’! *Gasp!!

Frichie’s web. Ouch. I just remembered. I wanted to start all over again. But Richie did not say anything just yet so sshhhhh. Most of my time I spend thinking, there are just brainstormed. New cds for camcorder, youch! But they aren’t that important, just an entertainment for my ‘masa lapang’ of my boring life. Masa lapang ey? I thought I only sleep.

My head was aching like wooooooaaaa since Linguistics. I told Alia and she said she was having the same puzzle to, just why did it happen? Sin segmentation? Ahaha, I like that.

Oh baby, sometimes I think you are so crazy for loving me with your heart and soul all together.

My life is full with complex questions. So I think I just need conundrums to fill it.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


The heart is aching again. I couldn’t log in to my web. But I already know how to. How good it would be if real plants are growing on my bedroom walls. The walls that Richie and I are going to look at, at the same time 5 or 6 years from now. Nobody has to waste the time and trouble to apologise, because nobody did. The nobody, wanted not to.

Jantung ini masih sakit. Ya Allah. Aduh. Mahu saja aku pecah kan jantung ini dengan tangan sendiri, biar tidak akan ku merasai kesakitan lagi.

I need a few more years. A few more years. Just a few more years.

Let's Speak Some Manglish

Ok la maybe I am a BENL student, does not mean I cannot articulate any BM word. What is so wrong with the knowledge I am adapting and what is with the look??

I really have to keep my blog alive again as Hana Baby interogated, "How long has your blog been dead?" Was that it? I too have to keep updating my web. It is a start for helping my boyfriend kan? Aduh, the heart is aching. Jantung ya, bukan hati. I have watched Fynn Jamal's webs and youtubes today and I feel so inspired. For further statement, I have lost my track on my assignments and duties. Sorry term papers, sorry studies, sorry blog, sorry vlog, sorry web. I will make it up to you guys some how some way okay? Muahx~!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Some Things Are Better Left..Unknown

There are no more interesting stuffs are happening in my life anymore. You get my point? I really miss buying Drinho’s lychee drink when I got back to Nilai. You know what I am saying? The date the other night, it felt like it was not enough. You know how much I miss you? I really want to score this upcoming last paper. You know why? I have a feeling that I will get in the dean’s list. You know how? I felt so sorry for Myra Azmy. You know who? It was not my intention to hurt Liyana. You know love? My boyfriend wants to marry me. You know when? Sometimes I think Microsoft Word is getting more stupid. You think so? I got the guitar back; actually, I just took it. You heard my songs? I am just vague.

Read it backwards.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Precious Bulletin

This is nice! It was on Myspace and I thought that I REALLY have to post this. It only takes 3 words.

Nurul Amira : Satu malam tu...
syahir : ada pakwe encem...
n4l: rambut dya stai..
zelda: nama dia awang..
farizul: awang suka jijah..
Hazzel: lalu ajak dating..
Sue: awang bagi bunga..
Wani: bunga palsu...
LD:..jijah tidak terima..
Qory:..awang bunuh diri...
ichigo:...jijah cri len....
azmi: hantu awang datang...
esya: cari si jijah...
edet z: jijah kne cekek...
yana aziz: lalu jijah mati..
nazrin jabar: rupanya itu mimpi...
Qyera Bliss : pada keesokan hari..
ajud hebat : mendung tapi panas..
LorD ZiZi : awan berarak lalu...
Zara : jijah kayuh beskal
retna : langgar lopak air..
nANa : habis basah baju..
iEda : jijah balik umah
syaiful : masuk bilik mandi
q!eraQyRa : keluar bilik mandi
manda: jijah ganti baju...
nutz: jijah mkn mggie..
dark knight:tiba2 sakit perutn
hazha.xvii: laaa..sngugutlah plak
coklat: jijah makan ubat..
sirin......: ubat jijah pahit...
Na[n]iCk : pahit pun pahitlah
iLi : tak baiK jugaK...
farahMiCHi : jijah jmpe doctor
gurl_next_door : rupenye doktor gileee~
eijay: jijah naik hangin
tipah: jijah call ultromen
eijay: jauh... call cicakman
gurl_next_door : alamak..cicakman cuti..
he man: cuti tanpa gaji
chu ah mie : jijah call gaban
ahbau c : kredit abis pulak...
~ct zaharah~ : jijah pegi kedai...
-mr_chaun-: kedai pulak tutup..
missy Ika : jijah mula pikir
shazd : naper sumer cuti..?
thoyote : jijah naik bingung....
guard kilang papan : jijah naik fed-up
mieza : jijah marah-marah
pacak:smpai pinggan pecah
gygieLuv : bli pinggan bru....
eddie yakuza: pinggan bru pecah..
farna : beli mangkuk pulak..
gHan sopHisTikaTEd ; mangkuk mahal sangat
Norlida M : cari pinggan kecik...
zai b : pinggan kecik takder
illyana hanifiah: cari piring pulak...
Liparn13 : Ada pun piring...
IzZaTi_Nia : Piring Sumbing Plok....
stitch N : lalu jijah menjerit...
-myside'09- : "ada lipas kodok..." Tongue out
~^aNd mY NaMe iS aYu^~ : msuk lam kain...
amy: jijah selak kain
liz : nampak lipas kodok...
rul : jijah sengih sengih...Tongue out
hazzleezhar : lalu jijah pijak2
ameng_senpai: lipas itu mmpus
meimeiriesz N : jijah jadi panik..
akuadalahaku : sakit perut gelak
LEON : perut jijah pusing
baby milo : jijah gelak lagi
cokeslave : tercekik lalat plak
LOVED 2B [PUBLIC_ENEMY] : jijah muntah lalat!
cap ayam: lalat besor tu..
asnieza najwa; lalu jijah tergelak..!
HuD@^^:smpi sket jiwa...
adidas; nthen jijah dihantar...
azhan:ke umah saketjiwa...r
ajazaki:kne ikat smpi...'
ShLipErY!!' aThIrAh....:die mati lalu....
wak kempis:die jadi zombie
duyung: zombie kampung pisang
Zaty: jijah jmpe awie...
kuya;p :jijah kejar awie
duyung: awie jatuh t'jelepok
asma':mate jijah t'beliak
Zaty: awie smbung lari...
duyung: jijah ape lagi...
Zaty: sambung kjar awie...
dUyUng: tetibe awie nmpk..
asma': seekor itik berlari
shima WLEO : bersama itik jantan
dilalala: lalu awie pijak..
pA'aN:sambil makan pisang
eyka: duduk tepi longkang
faiqLalalalala:dengan perasaan risau..
by:risau tahap gaban
ariff:sampai muka pucat
khailistik:lalu naik moto
rena sumi : langgar siput babi
niesa jenal : babi langgar siput
wani hasnaa : babi jatoh tegolek
f.i.f.i.q.b.a.l:minah kasi ubat
isda iskandar : babi tercekik ubat
rabiatul: lalu babi mati
laina : babi xreti mengucap
jazmin : jadi babi gle
amer : tetibe awang kembali
Bdk_nkl : awang itu awie
timah:jijah juga kembali
noty_gurl:awie jmpe jijah
hola; jijah jmpe awie
zakwan : awie bantai jijah
en.mael : jijah bantai balik
-tiena- : awie sembelih die
ZUL NSEM; mase raye korban
-tiena- : pas raye korban
Eran : sebelum raya korban
sara bebasfew : padan mka jijah
rozh : jijah pergi padang
ox : jijah maen lumpur
nyzm : bodoh la haha
Ffah : pastu jijah tidur
hasan : tido sambel xxxx <-- NOT appropriate. But I swear I did pass a little wind when I was laughing.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

My I-Cant-Clutch-Any-Ideas-Anymore Assignment

This one is by the Writing teacher. My Passion.

“I’m not a different brand, just a different model.” Or should it be “I’m not a different colour, just a different shade.” Which is more apposite? What I am trying to say is just parallel. Sometimes, when I just want to make a complete line of libretto, it is like squeezing out a three note melody.
As I stated in my previous essay, my general interests are music and art. But I prefer in saying the major one is music, because I know I spend more time on tunes rather than images and colours. Hence I would say music is my passion; the air that I breathe. Not just the simple music, it is everything that has to do with the particular entertainment. I made it as a part of my life since I was very young. My mother told me, I would just sing my lungs out in the public, or just in the middle of crowded people in the shopping complex every time hear a familiar song. I just took it easy, without hesitation, no disgrace, “And IIIIIIII, will always, loooove youuuuuu.” That was by Whitney Houston and I was five. My audience would just look and be amazed.
This passion of music is not only mine. It runs in the family. The person whom exposed us to music was my father. He taught us to listen to classic rock bands such as Queen and Beatles. When it comes to instruments, the guitar is the main subject. I have Carlos Santana and the late Jimi Hendrix as my idols. My mother on the other hand taught us to listen to Nursery Rhymes. She plays the piano and we all four siblings inherited that. I prefer playing the guitar because we all can play it with many different positions. Who plays the piano while one is lying on the bed? We have a few types of instrument at home. They are bongos, violins, keyboards, two sets of drums and etcetera. Whether we know how to or not, we just play.
The first ever person whom I know, wrote a song spontaneously, complete with melody, in front of my bare eyes, was my father as well. He is such an inspiration. I was amazed and the song was astounding. The song was funny though because it was about his four children and their attitudes. He just had his acoustic guitar. Then my brother followed his steps. He built a band of his own, and produces songs of technical grunge genre. I do composing too, but then I have vague inspired mind. I have done just three songs, and if one listens to them, he or she will know they are mine, because they are just typical and you could say they are parallel to another.
I really have to meet the counsellor of the writer’s block company.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Stupid Coward Gray Satria

He was making his left corner from our right. He was extremely fast. We know that what he was doing was sooooo wrong. Nobody can speed up while making turns! As I gave him my first sight, recklessly, I shouted, “Ha! Laju lagi! Laju lagi!” Suddenly he hit 75% on his break, and gave us a pretty dirty look. Then Akak said, “Tingkap dia buka la, Fathiyah.” (Lantak apa aku. Kalau tak puas hati, jom gaduh. Apa dia buat tu memang salah kan)I just made a blur look staring while controlling the extremely hot boiling blood while looking at his car. I swear to God, if anything happens to my family, I’ll kick his ass on the spot. Then Mak said, “Dia tak berani dowh nak turun.” He didn’t do anything else but just stared back over his left shoulder! Then we went off into the restaurant.

Ingat naik kereta satria kapok tu terror sangat? Dah la botak. Hentak sikit kepala dah nampak benjol. Bodoh pakai shades malam malam.

We just laughed all the way to realize that he is a big fat coward.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Holidays are boring. I could hate holidays at times. We only relax. That’s it! No studies, no research, or term papers to be done yada yada yada. I’m so glad I am having classes now; rushing, rushing, rushing. But I am tired. :(

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The 5 am Brain Tormenting

No one ever gave a second thought about liking him. We never mind to look at his bad side because no one ever really cares. I said “enough with histories.” But why is he still on my mind? It was years ago when I was still a teenager. Very plain and naive. I can’t have these dreams and thoughts about you anymore. Please go away. Every other girls like you, I know most of them are, but stop messing around in my head, please.

I am such a bad person. :(

Unwanted Delusions 2 cont'd

Oh yea. About several pairs of wedding couples there, Malay ones; one of the brides was faceless.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Unwanted Delusions 2

Lost soul. My soul. I was dead, but half awake. The people bathed me, combed my hair, and braided it; I was wearing white trousers and long sleeved white t-shirt. I just could see everything. I could even make a choice. To stay, or to go. Most people would want to go because of the unbearable future sins they have to face. I made mine, and I stayed. I remember saying this to the light, “Tak apa lah. Pahala tak cukup lagi.” The minute the words came out completely out of my mouth, I sat, and got up, and walked away. “You might not be with us now.”

Scary nurses. Complete and perfect uniform they were wearing. But somehow they tend to chase patients down and over volcano like mountains and vomit acids on their faces. I was one of the victims but I was left behind. Couldn’t they see me?

I forgot this one.