Pissing Machine

Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m not the one who’s born lonely. It's you. :) It’s not your concern. So stop pissing me off.

biarlah

biar lah aku ingin berbahasa.
salah?

biar la aku ingin meluahkan segalanya.
tak boleh?
mengapa?

hujung minggu lepas, sangat tidak baik.
setiap detik aku berasa sedih.
air mata melimpah limpah.
sakit nya kepala bila dah kering.
pelajaran.
keluarga.
kekasih.
masa depan.

lihat sekarang.
mungkin detik2 lepas tidak akan berulang lagi.
mungkin aku kata.
mungkin.

apa la hidup ini tanpa kebahagiaan?
celaka itu.
siapa kata hidup ini wajib dengan kebahagiaan?
syaitan sana sini.
akhirat tak ingat?

kenapa nak bersedih sekarang? esok ada lagi.
minggu depan ada lagi.
bulan depan ada lagi.
tahun depan.

di depan Maha Berkuasa?


tanggungjawab kita sana sini.
contoh yang baik, aku.
yang paling tak endah kan apa2.
yang paling tak kisah masa depan.
baik, aku.
contoh paling baik, aku,
yang paling buruk.

It's Just Not What It Seems

The moon can not take our attention. It is ugly.

My nose can smell you. I can smell you alive.


If the chest is not meant to be for breathing, what is the point of having you?

There There

I am in the state of not having any content in my head to express anything that I should or what I really should not. But yet, let me speak. Let me let you hear what I have to say sometimes. First, trashing out my friends is a big N double O. NOO! She is quite popular for the post she had made. Stating a review or an opinion is not faulty at all but the way she did it, the way she said it, some people might get hurt by that. No need for me to say more, just look at her post. Try to think what others might feel. She may do it, but the least that could do is have a heart. Respect.
Second, my kitten is looking at me with her most innocent eyes sparkling. Sometimes I only care about what is she thinking about when she looks at me? What is she thinking about when she tucks in herself under my armpit? Was she comfortable? Did she get the heat she wanted? But then, she calls when she really needs something. But yet, she’s not ‘saying’ anything now. :')
Third, just look what Hana Baby posted about me. :') Aww. You know, you don’t get this kind of lovely pet sis everyday in your life. Just think how lucky am I when she feels lucky to have me. Just as lucky to have her in my life. I love you so much, Hana. Honestly, I feel twice as happier than before you existed in my life. You know, hal Afiq suma kan. Hahaha. You may call me anything you want, but still, I know you love me. ;p

I’m looking at the mirror and I see me. Like duhh, obviously.

Prayers

I’ve noticed for quite some times, I never actually asked for anything about my health.

Please sempat siap kerja.
Please sempat habis baca.
Please habis hafal surah tonight jugak.
Please let Richie makin sayang.
Please stop them.
Please stop the problem.
Please tengok kan Mak and Ayah.
Please Abang balik cepat.
Please Jainibah dapat banyak A.
Please Akak jangan bebel lagi.
Please score for tonight’s paper.
Please let him know how much I need him in my life.
Please stop all this crap.
Please biar kitorang kawan balik.
Please let my friends know how important they are in my life.
Please help me to improve myself.
Please control my lust, even if it helps, demolish it away.
Please Nenek tengah ok sorang sorang kat rumah.
Please boleh tahan kawan sampai bila bila.
Please no more trouble.
Please..
Please..
Please..










Apa lagi yang kau nak, Fathiyah?

Stupid Throat

I reached class early today. Or maybe the others reached late. Haha. (Aaaaas usual) As Alia quoted, “Oh my God, Fathy, you’re such a nerd.” Thank you very much because I take that as a compliment. For self improvement much? I was right, I was starting in getting a fever. The head, the nose, the throat (AGAIN), back, chest and waist, phuahh! Macam nak mati pagi tadi. Even my mom asked me to skip class. Oh, such an angel (dramatically with stupidity). But I held on because missing just one class is such a waste. So I went yada yada yada. I couldn’t bare the air conditioning so I felt sicker then I called my mom to pick me up and she did so I skipped ‘RASOK’ class. The throat was extremely red as the doctor said lah kan. Entah dia tipu ke tak tau la. Doctors are like lawyers, they are all blood sucking parasites. All they need is just a briefcase.

Who would have thought that I would be facing demons from the past? I ‘deal’ with them everyday. If not physically, all that is left is my mind. Now I am having a headache for just thinking about that. Baby, I need you. =’(

Crackity Crack Crack

Swing it to the right. And swing it to the left. BOOM!





Sakit tengkuk.

Tagged by Nurin Najib

Herh, baru perasan. Dah tag orang tapi tak bagi tau. Bongok Si Nurin tu ye?



Tagged by Nurin Najib.



*********************.



1) Do you think you're hot?
~under the sun, yea la. berpeluh peluh! ;p

2)Upload your favorite picture of you!
















3) Why do you like that picture?
~ it isnt actually a favourite, i just laugh everytime i see it.
.
4) When was the last time you ate pizza?
~ long long long time ago. (hyperbole)
.
5) The last song you listened to?
~ Diva by Beyonce
.
6) What are you doing right now besides this?
~ texting with Richie baby
.
7) What name would you prefer besides yours?
~ Aisyah.

People To Tag :
1. Hana Baby
2. Ieeko
3. Farah Rosni
4. Osya!
5. Baby Girl

.8) Who is number one?
~ little pet sis, sian dia banyak masalah dalam hidup =(
.
9) Number three is having a relationship with?
~ dunno la i.

10) Say something about number five?
~ burntttah toasttah

.11) How about number four?
~ mana u ni osya? tak jumpa2 lagi ni
.
12) Who is number two?
~ kawan saya. kenapa? ada masalah?

Craving for It

Maaaaakk. Lapaaaaaaaa. ='(

Scratch here, Scratch there..

Online. Why? Oh yea, Revelation as a Source of Knowledge term paper that has to be submitted by next 2 weeks perhaps? And why did I just know that the lecturer is going to make a second midterm? Shyt. 'Equality between man and woman', oh I have a lot to say about that. Just make sure that Mira and I will nail this one yea, after that loathsome Poetry term paper. And speaking about that, Mirs and Ills laughed at my review this morning! Come on, it is Poetry, why can not I be dramatic for some reasons? How lazy do I feel right now? The windows and tabs are ready to be copied and pasted, but I am still here typing craps. Stupid much? Oh and just Madam Husna articulated the word ‘crap’! *Gasp!!

Frichie’s web. Ouch. I just remembered. I wanted to start all over again. But Richie did not say anything just yet so sshhhhh. Most of my time I spend thinking, there are just brainstormed. New cds for camcorder, youch! But they aren’t that important, just an entertainment for my ‘masa lapang’ of my boring life. Masa lapang ey? I thought I only sleep.

My head was aching like wooooooaaaa since Linguistics. I told Alia and she said she was having the same puzzle to, just why did it happen? Sin segmentation? Ahaha, I like that.

Oh baby, sometimes I think you are so crazy for loving me with your heart and soul all together.


My life is full with complex questions. So I think I just need conundrums to fill it.

Please?

The heart is aching again. I couldn’t log in to my web. But I already know how to. How good it would be if real plants are growing on my bedroom walls. The walls that Richie and I are going to look at, at the same time 5 or 6 years from now. Nobody has to waste the time and trouble to apologise, because nobody did. The nobody, wanted not to.

Jantung ini masih sakit. Ya Allah. Aduh. Mahu saja aku pecah kan jantung ini dengan tangan sendiri, biar tidak akan ku merasai kesakitan lagi.

I need a few more years. A few more years. Just a few more years.

Let's Speak Some Manglish

Ok la maybe I am a BENL student, does not mean I cannot articulate any BM word. What is so wrong with the knowledge I am adapting and what is with the look??

I really have to keep my blog alive again as Hana Baby interogated, "How long has your blog been dead?" Was that it? I too have to keep updating my web. It is a start for helping my boyfriend kan? Aduh, the heart is aching. Jantung ya, bukan hati. I have watched Fynn Jamal's webs and youtubes today and I feel so inspired. For further statement, I have lost my track on my assignments and duties. Sorry term papers, sorry studies, sorry blog, sorry vlog, sorry web. I will make it up to you guys some how some way okay? Muahx~!